Worry, Part I

I don't know exactly when I discovered this about myself, but I have trust issues. And I'm embarrassed about that, because I'm a Christian and "my God is greater, my God is stronger, my God is higher than any other" (Chris Tomlin, "Our God"). I say I believe that, but my heart tells a different story. I see this play out in many areas of my life, but there are two I want to talk about here today.

The first deals with my intense desire to be "in the know." I had a big argument with my sister the other day (no worries, we're good!), and it boils down to me having to know everything. When my sister brought that up, at first I was resistant, but she's right. And God confirmed that, for the next day I read something in Joyce Meyer's Power Thoughts: 12 Strategies to Win the Battlefield of the Mind that hit me right between the eyes. Power Thought #6 is "I trust God completely; there is no need to worry!" and Proverbs 3:5 ("Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding") is the key verse. She discusses worry, and on p. 162 she says this, "I was a person who wanted to understand everything because it made me feel that I was in control. I was not good at 'not knowing.'" BAM! Bulls eye! Did that make me think! It's not gossip or a power trip that drives me. I think it's more about self-preservation deeply rooted in the thought that "No one is going to take care of me, so I have to take care of myself. In order to do that, I have to have all the information I can get to use when I need it." The more I know about people and what's going on, the more I feel accepted, like I have "people." If I later find out that I was not included in a piece of information, I am deeply hurt. In fact, that happened with someone I thought was my best friend, and instead of her understanding and accepting my hurt and anger over finding out her news the way I did, she ended our friendship.

So, awareness is a big step. I've still got a long way to go with regard to worrying, but like Joyce I am learning to say, "I don't need to know everything about everything. . . . I'm not going to worry about anything because God is in control and I trust Him." I do know worrying is pointless. Jesus said in Matthew 6:27, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" I am slowly learning to take my situations and pray first instead of worrying. I am resolving to trust that Jehovah Jireh will take care of me. He always has. Joyce mentions an old gospel song called "Why Worry When You Can Pray?" Indeed. Doesn't make sense to worry, and this is one reason why God says over and over in His Word "Fear not. Do not worry." My favorite passage pertaining to this is Isaiah 41:10: "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Surely I will help you; surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand." I'm also reminded of one of my dad's favorite sayings, "What? Me worry?" I think that was made famous by Alfred E. Neuman in his Mad comic book. Exactly. That is the attidude I want Christ to grow in me: I'm a Christian. What? Me worry? Whatever for? A friend recently reminded me of a powerful truth about God found in Ephesians 3:20: God is "able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work in us" (emphasis mine). This power raised Jesus from the dead, and it's IN ME in the presense of the Holy Spirit. I've heard my hero Nick Vujicic say that "faith" means Full Assurance In The Heart. I want that attitude, "being fully assured that what God has promised, He [is] also able to perform" (Romans 4:21).

Well, I was going to talk about two issues, but that'll have to wait. It's about work, and that's exactly what I need to do right now! :-)

Until next time, keep standing in grace (Rom. 5:2).

Talk about Procrastination!

Oh dear. I had just typed a new entry, but I went to another screen and now that's gone. Briefly, I'm going to start blogging again and I hope you'll enjoy reading my ramblings.

I'm also asking for prayer for my health. Long story short, I'm feeling more stiffness, weakness, achiness, and fatigue since stopping an antiinflammatory after the prescription ran out. I thought it wasn't helping. Turns out it was! I've asked for a refill.

My prayer for you is that you hear that still, small voice of the Spirit speaking to your spirit and that you answer His call and do whatever He tells you. Let us be not merely hearers of the Word but doers also.

Standing in Grace.