Awesome

Mom and I saw the neatest thing today while we were out in the car. It looked like a rainbow made up of clouds, or a rainbow cloud. I've seen spectrums in a patch of sky or around the sun, but this is the first time I've seen clouds like this. We stopped after a moment and I took a few pictures, but the colors are quite pale and the pictures don't do justice to the actual phenomenon, which from what I could find out later is quite uncommon. Very specific conditions have to be met for this to occur, and they were met today. I posted the pictures on my Facebook profile. Mom and I both were in awe of what we considered a display of God's majesty, beauty, and creativity. Enjoy! (Click on the title of this blog, and you'll be taken to a page that explains "circumhorizon arcs" and shows a spectacular picture of one. That's what it looked like for Mom and me.)

Geese and Grace

One of the things I missed most while I was in France was Canadian geese. I've got scores of pictures of my sister and I feeding bread to flocks of geese, and on every trip back home, one thing I made sure to do was go look for geese to feed. Last summer, though, the only geese I could find were at a pond across from the church, and they apparently were not used to people giving out free food, for with every step I took toward them, they took 2 waddles back. So I guess you could say I'm having withdrawal symptoms from not being able to feed my beloved honking birds.

I was in France over 4 years before I discovered that there are Canadian geese there. Of all places, they were on the Seine in a town I'd actually lived in. Then on a trip to London I discovered their smaller cousins; they look just like our geese but are about half the size. I was in goose heaven. However, they weren't always on the river banks, and I wasn't able to go there often, so my goose sightings dwindled to "rien" (nothing).

So one thing I really looked forward to upon moving back to the States was seeing and especially hearing Canadian geese again. Imagine my joy to discover that every morning 2 honkers fly over the house, making sure everyone knows they're coming, on their way to a small pond a couple doors down. I haven't tried to feed these geese because the pond is on private property that was just sold in an auction. So I content myself with just admiring from a distance.

This evening I got a goose glimpse at, all places, church. I'd gone to a new Bible study. The room we met in was near the front of the church and facing the parking lot. At one point I looked out the narrow window and was pleasantly surprised to see a goose. He was clearly agitated, shaking his head every which way and honking loud enough for us to hear from inside. After the study I even got to take pictures of him and his mate as they waddled across the lawn. As I approached, they went the other way, with Mr. Goose showing me his displeasure with some more head shaking and honking.

So what does this have to do with grace? In tonight's study, which is based on weight loss, one of the verses we looked at was Acts 20:24: "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." When I was in France, especially the first few years, I had many lonely times. I feel God stripped away everything and everyone I depended on so I would totally lean on Him. It was during this time that I began to read and really study the Bible. I couldn't get enough. I've since learned that my "gift of the Spirit" is teaching, and I have been showered with so much grace and have been so awed by that concept that I believe that God has given me the ministry of teaching about grace (I consider myself still in training!). So I love coming across verses like Acts 20:24, and I relate to Paul. I feel that telling you about these geese is "testifying to the gospel of God's grace" in a way. For one definition of grace to me is giving me something unexpected, something I don't deserve but get anyway. When I see a goose, I'm awed by God's creation, feeling undeserving of witnessing such beauty but so glad I've been given the gift.

So yes, geese and grace *can* go together!

Bless My Heart

It was another beautiful day here. It's still 82 and sunny! Eat your heart out, Floridians!

I tried a new Sunday school at church today. I chose a women's one led by a lady I respect and admire. It turns out they are on Week 5 of a 6-session Beth Moore study called "Stepping Up" on Psalms 120-134. I love Beth Moore's studies, but I hadn't even realized she had this one. I was able to contribute even though I did not have a book and had not been studying the lessons. I am not sure if I will visit other classes before choosing one or while this one finishes that study or keep going to this one. The worship service was very meaningful. It is so awesome to me to sing some of the same songs I sang at my church in France. One of the two that touched me most today were "Everlasting God (Strength Will Rise)": "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. We will wait upon the Lord. We will wait upon the Lord (x2). Our God, You reign forever. Our hope, our strong Deliverer. You are the everlasting God, the everlasting God. You do not faint. You won't grow weary. You're the defender of the weak. You comfort those in need. You raise us up on wings like eagles." The other one was "My Savior Lives," with the lyrics: "Our God will reign forever, and everyone will know His name. Everyone together, sing the song of the Redeemer. I know that my Redeemer lives, and now I stand on what He did. My Savior, my Savior lives. Every day a brand-new chance to say, 'Jesus, You are the only Way.' My Savior, my Savior lives. The King has come from heaven, and darkness trembles at His name. Victory forever is the song of the Redeemer. (Chorus) These lyrics pierced my heart, and I just wanted to do as we sang later in "Take My Life and Let it Be" offer up my heart to my God. I am learning to let go and just sway with the music, raising my hands and my heart, offering myself in worship. Today before leaving I made sure to take time and prepare my heart for meeting God with my brothers and sisters, and I could literally feel the difference.

The sermon was the first of a series from 1 Peter, today covering verse 1. What touched me most was the discussion on how these believers to whom Peter was writing were "scattered" and "strangers on the earth." They were foreigners. D, the pastor, described how they had been uprooted and had learned to bloom where they were planted. I really related to that, having lived as a foreigner and never quite feeling like I fit in. I truly believe, as D said, that God planted me back here and has a purpose for it. He is taking the old, dead, ugly seeds I gave Him and is growing them into something beautiful that demonstrates His glory and goodness. That helps make all I'm going through worthwhile. I know beauty will come from these ashes.

Another way God helped heal my heart today is by teaching me to literally go splash in the creek. My friend A and I went to the park, where we had a bag lunch then went down to the creek and waded. She skipped stones; I tried to. I actually was able to do it with the really flat stones a couple times! We had a blast watching this family's black Lab chasing a stick into the water over and over and over. (I posted pictures on Facebook.) We then went to a local creamery and had some homemade ice cream. It was a gorgeous day spent with a dear friend. God has richly blessed me.

How has God blessed you today?

Road Trip Down Memory Lane

I had an exhausting but fun day today. I took a trip down Memory Lane: I went to the town where I went to college, about 40 miles from here. It was a gorgeous day for it, too, in the low 80s and sunny. I started out with lunch at Applebee's, connecting with a high school classmate in the process. She'd lived in Germany for 3 years, so we shared about our European experiences. It's weird; lately I've not had much of an appetite. I ate only half my meal. But that's fine! Since I've been back, I've lost 4 pounds! Then I hit the road, arriving in A. in under an hour. The town has built up some, but for all that has changed, much has remained the same. The friend I went up to see wasn't home yet, so I walked around the tiny campus a little. It was so beautiful there with the redbuds, magnolias, and flowering pears. I even got a picture of one of the nearly tame squirrels that fritter around the grounds. I remember they would even sometimes eat out of my hand! I sat on a bench and promptly got bitten by a big black ant that found its way into my sandal.

I went back to my friend L's place and waited while he cleaned up. He'd worked last night and then had had rehearsal for a band he plays guitar in, and it had run later than he anticipated. We then headed over to the campus hang-out for eating. I had a banana and a SoBe drink. All during my stay there, I kept asking myself where all the students were. I'd forgotten how small a campus it is. It was great to see it and of course to see L. We caught up for a while, then we headed to another building and talked with my French professor for a bit. I saw her twice while I lived in France, and she's going back there at the end of May. Who knows, I might even be able to see her there if the divorce hearing somehow gets scheduled in June. It was great to see her. She's grown her hair out as well! I was feeling like I needed to eat something, so L and I went to Perkins, an old college hangout. We had pie, which he paid for. After talking things over with him, I feel a lot better about some situations in my life. I dropped him off at his apartment and headed back home.

My brother R and his wife C had a "sky trip" today as they returned from their 2nd trip to the Mayo Clinic. She's been diagnosed with sarcoidosis, an inflammatory condition. If she does not respond to treatment for that, they will continue working her up for lymphoma. On top of this, she has a gastrointestinal disease called C. difficile. Ironically, "difficile" means "difficult" in French, and that is exactly what her last 4 months have been. Please pray that their faith in God and each other remains strong during this trial.

Whatever you are facing today, may Isaiah 41:10 be a blessing to you as it has to me lately: "Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Quote

Just a brief one today. I found this in a daily quote I get from an association I belong to, and I found it very applicable and helpful to me right now.

"Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and
disappointments, but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in
their proper figures."
– Joseph Addison

Close Calls

I am *exhausted*! I think I've been awake since 5:00 or so, but I got up around 6:15. And I've been at it all day. Today was the first day I worked, and I certainly earned my wages! I had some trouble with "problems communicating with the server" messages, which slowed me up on some tasks, but the program worked. I had a couple familiar doctors, then I got a new doctor and a new speciality, a Russian (?) hematologist/oncologist whose reports are 10-17 minutes long! She wasn't too hard to understand, but I wasn't used to her or her specialty, so I did have to send all those to someone to be checked. And it looks like I am the only one working on those, because the same dictations are still sitting there and they are from the 20th! But I'm proud of what I was able to get done. I may even be brave and do more tonight, but I am so tired and probably should call it a night.

I had calls to 2 close friends today, my American friend B in France and my Irish friend C in Ireland (met her in France). It was so good to talk to them, and they helped me sort some things out in my head.

I had another close call. Mom and I just got back from having dinner at Arni's with M and G. When I looked out onto the deck off the sunroom, I wondered, "Why is the cat meowing at me from the *other* side of the door?!?" It took me a minute to realize she'd gotten out a couple hours ago when I had the patio door open, only I'd thought the screen part was closed. No it weren't! Fortunately, the cat came back; she couldn't stay away and was sitting on the porch the very same day. Whew! This is one reason why I'm a dog person!

It was a gorgeous day today, getting up to 68. The next few days are supposed to be really beautiful. Good! My spirits are so much better when the sun is out, and it'll be a nice change to have upper 70s instead of upper 40s!

OK, time to veg! :)

God's Will

As a Christian, I hear and think a lot about "God's will," what does God want for me? What do you think of when you hear that? If you're like many people, you may think it means what does God want you to do in specific situations or what choice God wants you to take. Nothing seems wrong with that and on many levels there is truth to these statements. But I invite you to come along on a journey with me to see if we need to reevaluate our thinking on what God's will is.

Lately, with all that has been going on in my life, you betcha this has been a big question in my mind. So a couple days ago when I found a CD entitled: Way of Wisdom: God's Will for Me, I did an inner jig and thought, "Great! Now I'll learn how to figure out what God wants me to do as far as B is concerned!" After an initial listen, I did learn, but the lesson was not what I expected. The teaching is by Dr. James McDonald of Walk in the Word ministries. This particular lesson is #2 of 4. I've listened to his CDs before, a series where he used the story of Esther to teach about who God is. I really enjoy his style and had learned so many things about who God wants to be to me, so I was doubly excited to listen to this current CD.

I'm going to listen again later, but basically Dr. McDonald challenges the traditional view that God has an individual will for each of us. This is the one that says there is one right option for our situations and if we don't choose it, we are out of God's will. Instead, he says, God has a sovereign will (the order of things like the universe, which we can't change) and a moral will or His Word. Rather than directing us to a one-and-only option for specific situations, He is wanting us to be a certain kind of person. His will is that we come to a deeper, closer personal intimacy with Him.

In discussing God's moral will, James uses 1 John 2:3, where it says that we know we love Him if we keep His commandments. Think about this: If you love someone, you'll obey them. Take parents, for example. And you're not going to love just any old person. You love someone you know, someone you trust. Only *then* will you not only be willing to do what they say, you'll be happy to. Ultimately, this really works only with God, for only His ways and judgment and insight are perfect, so we can trust Him completely. James says, "It's like, 'I'm God, you're not. Trust me, I made you. Do this." When you love and trust someone and they really love you, you *want* to serve them because you know that they will not ask you to do something that is harmful to you. So, as Dr. McDonald says, "once you figure out who He is, you'll be okay with" Him telling you what you are to do.

As I touched on above, some people think that this means there is only one right choice for all that concerns us, and if we don't make that ONE correct choice, we are out of God's will. Dr. McDonald calls this being "off the dot." Now, when it comes to "Should I take this job where I'll be asked to cheat people and lie?", that's covered under God's moral will in the Word. James says, "We want to believe that God's plans for us are about what kind of house we're gonna own and what kind of car we're gonna drive. Those are OUR plans, okay, and we gotta stop trying to get God on OUR program. God's dreams for your future are not that He would somehow get on your program. God's dreams for your future are that you would get on HIS program." He goes on to say that God's dreams do not include all the minutae like where you should go on vacation or what job you should do but that they "are about an amazing intimacy with you that you have not yet experienced maybe, and God is calling us deeper and deeper, deeper into the fullness of life in Him." He says God wants us to get to a point where those specifics become nothing to us and our life is all about getting to know and love God more and more. He wants us to seek Him with all our heart and find him (Jer. 29:12). THAT is His will.

What incredible freedom God gives us! He gives us so much liberty to choose what we want. You've got 2 equally viable options for a job? Take the one you want! You like Toyotas and the color blue? Get a blue Toyota and don't worry that God will remove His blessings from you because you were *supposed* to get a RED Toyota! Of course God wants us to choose what is in line with His Word, but He says nothing specific about which city is better for you or what school your child should go to. The point is that God can use you whatever choice you make. He is more concerned about what kind of person you are: how intimate you are with Him and how you treat other people. "He is going to get His stuff done regardless of where you decide to go." He can handle it! Be assured, too, that He does indeed care about your decisions. He just is not going to direct your every single choice; He gives you great freedom to move within His moral will. So enjoy it!

So, how does this apply to what I've been going through lately? For the past week, I've been praying, "God, make it Your will that B and I are together." Even when we reconnected, I convinced myself that it was God's will, that He brought us back together. But now I am seeing that, whether or not he and I *do* end up together, all along God's concern has been that I be a certain kind of person no matter who I am with. I've also seen that I have not been the kind of person God wants me to be and have ignored my relationship with Him. Lately I have been praying for God to make both of us the kind of people we ought to be, but I prayed that in a selfish way, thinking it would then bring us together. I am going to continue to pray that God helps us both be people who are on fire for Him, growing closer and closer to Him, and people who treat others in ways that honor Him. Sure, I want B and I to be together, but now my focus will be that I'm God's woman regardless of whether or not I am B's choice.

Is this easy? No way! But I do know this: If we are listening to God and becoming more and more like Jesus, then whether or not we end up together, B and I will be in God's will. I draw great comfort and peace from that.