Forgiveness

I have been reading The Power of a Praying Woman. Today I read this: “When we choose to forgive, we end up walking in the dark (1 John 2:9-11) (p. 46). Because we can’t see clearly, we stumble around in confusion. This throws our judgment off and we make mistakes.” When I read this, B came to mind. Then I wondered, does he need to forgive me? On one occasion when we talked about our past and I told him how sorry I was for how awful I’d treated him, he said he has forgiven. I sincerely hope he has, but could that be what is giving him pause? For now I will simply pray about this, but one day maybe I can ask him about it.

She then goes on to say how “forgiveness is a choice we must make every day”
(p. 47). At first this made me wonder, if we must choose to forgive every time we see someone or every time unforgiveness surfaces (how do we know the difference between unforgiveness and the feelings that come up as a result of the choice to forgive which may be part of the healing process?), have we truly forgiven? I wrote in the book, “It is a process. We can decide to forgive every day, but only over time and with many more choices to forgive do our feelings line up.” Eventually there will be a time when we say “I forgive” and it is a reality. We truly have forgiven, it is done, it is buried, it is healed.

On p. 48 she says if we are finding it hard to forgive someone, we should pray and ask God for help. We should pray about that person in every way. “It’s amazing how God softens our hearts when we pray for people. Our anger, resentment, and hurt turn into love.” I’ve experienced this to be true. I will ask God to reveal to me whoever I need to forgive and let go of any hurt, bitterness, or anger toward. It’s still so fresh and though I feel less hurt than a week ago, I realize I do need to forgive B. And perhaps there is still a lot I need to forgive J for. I will ask God to show me how to say “I forgive” while not denying or ignoring the hurt and yet not getting stuck in it either.

I must really need this lesson, because I am getting so much out of it! “When we forgive someone . . . it releases them into God’s hands so He can deal with them. Forgiveness . . . frees us to move into all God has for us” (p. 48). I once read that forgiveness means letting go of the need for revenge and extracting payment ourselves from those who have wronged us. It means we let go of needing them to pay that debt. We erase it, as God did our sins through Jesus. They have still done wrong, but we leave the justice up to God and we release the hold their sin and our unforgiveness has had on our lives.

Up above, I was thinking about the unforgiving servant parable (Matthew 18), and on p.49 she talks about it! “We who have received Jesus have been forgiven
a large debt. We have no right to be forgiving of others” (p. 50). How true! We must forgive just as God forgave us (Ephesians 4:32), as it is one of the most loving things we can do. Otherwise, we get stuck in a prison of bitterness and can’t move forward into all God has for us.

I urge you to ask yourself if there is anyone you need to forgive. Is there someone you can't even think about without getting angry and upset or weepy? Is there an area in your life where you feel stuck or a relationship that just is not moving forward for some reason? Maybe that's an area where there is a deep hurt that needs healing, and you must forgive the person who hurt you. This isn't easy, but God will help you! He *wants* us to forgive, so you can count on that help! Please don't lock yourself up in the prison of unforgiveness. Release your debtors, and you'll experience an even greater freedom than they: peace.