Homeward Bound is Home (Well, on Earth, that is)

It's been just over 2 weeks since I returned to the United States after nearly 7 years in France. The first week and a half went pretty quickly, but so much has happened in the last few days alone! I finally got over my cold, but a few days ago B. chose to pursue a previous relationship, and I'm not over that yet. But the timing is good. At least I found out now before moving to where he is and then having this happen. Also, my sister arrived the next day and I've since received my driver's license, so I've had plenty to keep my mind occupied, at least during the day, although I have my moments then too. But through this I am learning about areas I need to work on and how I need to trust God, not only that this will make sense one day but that it'll work out for the best. It's also given me an increased sensitivity to how J. must feel. It had been hard to remember that while I have had time to grieve, heal, and move on from our marriage (divorce is pending), he has not. I am confident I made the right decision and that my place is here, but I am sorry for the pain he's experiencing and pray that he will fully heal. I am sure I still have some healing to do, but to my surprise it has been easier than I thought, at least thus far. Until last Wednesday, but I don't want to belabor that point. I wish B. the best too, though I must admit part of me still wants us to be together and has hope that we will. But a lot must change for that to happen. For now, I must move ahead with my life, and God knows I've got plenty to keep me busy!

It feels so good to be back behind the wheel. It is indeed like riding a bike; you don't forget. It doesn't feel like I've not driven for 4 years. I will say, though, that I've found it easier than I thought it'd be, even going to "Hassleton" Mall. I guess I got used to all the traffic and aggressive driving in the Paris area, and now this is a piece of cake compared to that! Granted, though, I never drove over there. I couldn't have gotten a better car; that deal just kind of fell into my lap. My brother S. and his wife were looking to sell their Pontiac Bonneville, and they were asking a very reasonable price given the car's age and condition. Don't get me wrong; it's in great condition, and it is so comfortable to sit in and drives very smoothly. I am dismayed about how quickly that gas guage dial goes down! :) But at least gas is "only" $2 a gallon now versus the $3 and $4 it was a year ago. But hey, I still don't wanna hear it: gas in France is like $6 a gallon! Most of that is taxes, though.

I'm so excited. My sister and her husband might be moving "up north" from Florida to here in Indiana! Certain situations have lent themselves to now being a good time to consider it, but it's an issue that's been discussed before. As T. said the other day, both Mom's chicks will have flown back. All 4 kids will be back within 20 miles of her. :) I am sad I missed my brother R.'s kids and S.'s son growing up, but I'm here now and it is never too late for family! My sister and brother-in-law and I might even live in the same apartment complex, but regardless, it'll be nice to have them here!

I'm looking for a job. I had a phone interview Thursday, which went well. I am going to be talking to my last client (I worked as a contractor) on Monday as well as investigating other companies, but I'd like to start working by the beginning of May if possible. My money is quickly running out! :) It's so good to take steps to being a productive, active member of society again. I found this difficult in France, but not just because of my marital problems, and that caused a great deal of stress. I am finally feeling like I can breathe again. I don't mean to imply that life over there was awful. I don't regret a thing & I am very grateful to J. for his role in my being able to visit the country of my dreams, let alone live there. It's just not for me, and I am glad to be home!

Comments welcome!