Blown Away

I just got back from church. I heard one of the best sermons I've heard in my life. It was given by someone I don't yet know very well but hope to get to know, R., the regular minister D.'s son-in-law. R. is the current youth minister, I believe. This is one of those times I feel old. R. is in his early 20s, someone I now call "a young person." That's one way I know I'm getting older (I'm 36!), that and having to remember how old I'll be on my next birthday! He is going to seminary, and he is indeed on the right path! He is going to send me his notes via e-mail, but I wanted to go ahead and share what I do recall from this dynamic, engaging, God follower.

The entire service, actually, was put on by our junior and senior high youth. They did an awesome job from the worship music to the announcements. R. preached on 2 Timothy 1:1-7. One thing I liked is that when a young lady read it, she asked us to stand up. That is something that is done at the Anglican church I was part of in France. R. did a wonderful job of giving the background of the text, esp. explaining who Paul and Timothy were and their relationship to each other. Basically R. spoke on influence, stating, "Influence is inevitable. You are going to be influenced, and you will influence others." He explained how we breathe out on others what we breathe in. As Christians, if we are not breathing in God, we are just exhaling and exhaling of our own strength and we will choke. If we are continually breathing in God but not breathing Him out on others, we will suffocate. We simply must be influenced by God (breathe in) and influence others for Him with what He's breathed into us (breathe out). He also emphasized the strong, close bond and mentoring relationship between Paul and Timothy. I know it seems like all I do is talk about B., but this blog is about who I am and what I am going through, and he is a big part of that at the moment. When R. talked about Paul seeing Timothy's potential, it made me sad. Part of the reason I am taking this situation with B. so hard is that I believe so much in him and see his potential, but he doesn't, and now I may never have the chance to influence him and be influenced by him in God's ways. Regardless of what happens between us, my prayer is that he one day does see and live out that potential, influencing others for Christ.

I was so moved by R.'s sermon and the youth-led service that I had to get up at the end of the service, unexpected by R., and speak to the church. I introduced myself to those who might not know me and said that was one of the best sermons I'd ever heard. Everyone agreed through applause. I explained that I was back in Indiana for good under some very difficult circumstances, but after what I'd seen and heard today, I was so encouraged and uplifted and very excited to get involved in the church again and influence others. I named off those who had influenced me over the 30 years I and my family have been a part of this church, and many of them are still there and even came up to me at the end. It was wonderful. I had other plans for where I was going to be living, but now I am starting to see that God has His own plans and they are good. He wants me here, so there is at least that one good thing to come out of all the bad I've been through this past week.

Early in the service I had to leave the sanctuary. I had to go to the bathroom and cry. We sang one song that my church in Versailles often sings ("Blessed Be the Name of the Lord"), and later a pianist played "Give Thanks," one of J.'s favorite songs from a CD I'd often listen to. Some of the songs we sang spoke of giving our hearts to Jesus for mending and being sorry for giving our soul to others instead of Him. That is what I've been doing, and like I sang this morning, I want to just fall on my knees and lay myself down at the cross. While I was in the bathroom sobbing and aching, it struck me that often, in order for us to be whole, we have to first be broken. I am being broken right now, but I am being made whole again into someone purer, stronger, wiser, more loving, and more peaceful. I may have sat on the wall and had a great fall, but the King is going to put me back together again, and I'll be better for it.

I want to ask you what R. asked us this morning. Do you have someone like Paul was to Timothy in your life? Are you that person to someone else? Who is your Paul and your Timothy? After today's service, I am so grateful to my Pauls and even more inspired to find and influence my Timothys. If you know who yours are, be sure to thank God for them and be assured that someone is thanking God for you. You never know how one act of kindness, one kind word or deep conversation, one invitation to church, one day, or one minute will change someone else's life--and yours--forever. For the kind of Forever I believe in, that's huge. You may not have 30, 60, or 90 years to live, but you have this moment and you can influence others and often do without even knowing or trying. It's all in what you're breathing in.